Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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