Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
