I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
no, he came in my armpit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize