He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
