I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
