New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
