and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
