I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
