she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
