Don't make out with my wife yet
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize