I cockslap morals
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
