this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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