Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
