his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize