Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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