omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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