i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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