I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
