We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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