Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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