a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
