it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
