mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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