is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
