i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We left the knife in your bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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