So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
