How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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