Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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