I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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