My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
