I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
