i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize