I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
