i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
