Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
