Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
