I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
