It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
