I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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