my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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