So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
