Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
