I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize