Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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