office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
