help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
