Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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