Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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