Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
