Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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