I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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