I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
