speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
