The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
