i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think my mom watched the whole time
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nobody cheats on THIS.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
