Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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