dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What a dumb baby whore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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