its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize