doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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