My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
