our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
