So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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